Redneck Vacation

It's been awhile again, apparently it's gonna be a thing with me, so ya might as well get used to it. We had a nice time on vacation. I have to say we were met with disappointments from the start though. The resort we stayed at turned out to be NOT a resort but a cabin on main street along with a couple of other cabins right next door.
The cabin itself was cute and comfy and the view of the lake was gorgeous. Of course the first thing the girls wanted to do was swim but the owner said that we could swim in the lake but we had to wash of as soon as we got out or we'd get swimmers itch. Then he went on to explain what that is- he said "Well.. it's all these damn ducks see,and the seagulls, they shit in the lake then the f*ckin' clams do too, so when you swim in that shit it makes ya itch." We thanked him for the information and the girls laughed and liked him instantly.
The owner made things out of junk he welds stuff together to make his stuff.
He made this spider to scare away the ducks and sea gulls, he put it in our yard and asked the girls not to feed the ducks or the sea gulls so we amused ourselves watching the ducks and seagulls investigate this new thing and we laughed when they decided to make it their new perch. Poor guy it really was funny, even funnier when the girls showed him the picture we took of the seagull sitting on his SCARY spider. He said "Well.....that.... ASSHOLE" to which the girls laughed their butts off.
The DVD player was shit and there was no hot water anywhere except for the downstairs tub, the two bedrooms that was advertised turned out to be one big room with a wall (with no door) in between. So, there went all the kinky sex I had planned:(
There were no batteries in the remote control, the owner said "Well, them last sumbitches musta stole um" and when we told him that the DVD player was shit he came over and worked on it for about an hour and determined that, "Yep, it's shit". He was very nice about it and after he pretty much blamed us for braking it, he gave us his play station to use and it only stopped working in the middle of the movies about five times. I ended up having to get pissy and told the dude that this thing was shit too and I wanted DVD player that worked NOW! To which he jumped and got me one ~ why couldn't he have just done that to freakin' begin with?
The pier was made out of sawhorses, it was sturdy though,the girls got some bread, sat on it, and took turns being attacked by seagulls.....dumb ass youngins.....funny shit.
We tried to make the most of it and we ended up having a good time. Our oldest loved the paddle boat and once the owner taught her how to fix the chain (that fell off about every hour) she had fun with it and only had to swim back to shore three times. He also loaned us an electric scooter that the two youngest loved. They have both asked for one for Christmas. We went to a bear reserve and a wild life reserve, it was cool we got our pictures taken with a baby bear.

We went to a little zoo and the girls got to hold a baby bobcat. We also went to an Elk farm, and a waterfall.

We walked up to watch a local gospel group at the community center, the lawn was filled with lawn chairs and everyone brought there dogs and of coarse their beer, the people even got up and danced a couple of drunken gigs to "you are my sunshine" and "I walk with Jesus".
We had a good time and felt right at home.

We got lots of good pictures of everything. I think that over all, I got enough pictures to keep me painting for awhile.

Catch Up

It's been awhile, sorry for that, I'll catch ya up. We had a bake sale for my dad, in case ya'll missed it he doesn't have a leg to stand onand the taking off of legs is very expensive and the bills are kicking my mama's ass. I baked till I dropped which ended up being around two the night before, then got up (AT 5 A.M.) and set up the sale. We did not sale as much as I would have liked and it was hot so a lot of my yum yums melted and I still had a half of a fridge full. I got rid of our two kitty's at the bake sale though, so at least something got accomplished. The draw back to that was that my kid (the animal lovin one) squalled like a two year old all day.I went to work where I sold some of my left over baked goods.I stuck to a time proven strategy to do this- get um drunk and temp them with sweets.
Work sucked more then normal that night,had four fights and some dumbass brought his dogs but,didn't leave um in his vehicle, he just let um run free around the building, so every time someone came in or went out,so did the dogs. I kicked him and his dogs out after the third time. I can't have dogs in the bar, they end up shitting in the restaurant, and my boss really doesn't like that, I know. The night went from bad to worse when I had to kick out a friend, for knocking over drinks,and getting on top of the bar, which was extremely nerve wrecking because he is very big and our bar is very old and week. He got mad and tried to run his truck into the bar, nice hu?
There were a few more heated conversations, and a guy pissing all over the men's room floor, topped off my night, But, I forgot to even mention the girl who came in, wearing a dress cut down to there, with nothing on under it, and ofcourse she was bending over a lot. I and everyone there have probably seen her titties more then her husband of two months, whom she claimed loudly that she hates. When asked why she married him, she says cus she was drunk and he asked. Now, she can't divorce him because neither one of them have a job to pay for it. So, she's decided to stick it out for four more months in hopes of gaining his house. lovely hu?
Fathers day turned out to be not very good for my husband. It started with me getting up prepared to cook my wonderful man a fathers day breakfast feast, but was greeted with my baby coon (which I got the week before) dying.While, I was at work, the night before, selling my butt off (that didn't sound good) my daughter gave Bandit a couple of baths because he was sticky after he had some yogurt. This proved to be a little too much for him and he dyed. My daughters and I were devastated and my husband spent the day trying to cheer us, then, I went to work a very sad lil redneck.
The next morning I was determined to make all this up to my husband but was instead greeted with my dog 'Rexy'who we have had for seven years, dying, I called my husband home from school, to take him to the vet but, he died even before we could get him into the car.
Very sad the next day, but still had to work. On the way home from work, I thought I saw a baby coon in the road so pulled over and investigated, it was not a baby coon, but instead was one of the kittens I just gotten rid of. What luck. She ran right up into my arms, I took her home and after she ate two bowls of food, I decided not to break my youngins heart again ------- And so, we named her 'Magna' ....I am back in good mommy standing with this youngin now, she even said "You da man, Mom"... To which, I swelled with feel good Mommy pride, while thinking 'Yep, I da man fer sure'
I am not however, in good mommy standing with my boy crazy 14 year old. We got her a job, the theory was to keep her so busy she wouldn't have time to focus on boys. Well, it didn't work, she likes the job cus, there are so many cute boys there and everyday we get to hear all the...... "and he said" ......"and I said"...... "and his eyes are the color of" ...and yada yada yada. Good plan, way to back fire, it's a shame they don't still make chastity belts. Maybe I'll buy her some baggy cloths when we go school shopping, strike that cus, I got her a job and now she has her own money. Boy, you kin tell I really thought this through hu?
The hubs and I celebrated our sixteenth anniversary, I don't know how he does it.
The fourth of July was a dud, but got to see an old friend, my long lost NB which was nice and my awesome cousin came for a visit and we had a great time.Of course, there were lots of drunken shenanigans and some dancing on the bar, and I may or may not have sang some karaoke, it is debatable because the play back sure didn't sound like singing, it was more like a sick pig howling. Not showing the video or posting the pictures, you understand I'm sure.
Our vacation is coming up so I have been working alot to get some extra money and trying to get everything around, like getting the house clean since it refuses to clean itself. We're going to Michigan for a week, very excited. I will post when I get home and I'll be sure to take lots of pics.Till then