Redneck Vacation

It's been awhile again, apparently it's gonna be a thing with me, so ya might as well get used to it. We had a nice time on vacation. I have to say we were met with disappointments from the start though. The resort we stayed at turned out to be NOT a resort but a cabin on main street along with a couple of other cabins right next door.
The cabin itself was cute and comfy and the view of the lake was gorgeous. Of course the first thing the girls wanted to do was swim but the owner said that we could swim in the lake but we had to wash of as soon as we got out or we'd get swimmers itch. Then he went on to explain what that is- he said "Well.. it's all these damn ducks see,and the seagulls, they shit in the lake then the f*ckin' clams do too, so when you swim in that shit it makes ya itch." We thanked him for the information and the girls laughed and liked him instantly.
The owner made things out of junk he welds stuff together to make his stuff.
He made this spider to scare away the ducks and sea gulls, he put it in our yard and asked the girls not to feed the ducks or the sea gulls so we amused ourselves watching the ducks and seagulls investigate this new thing and we laughed when they decided to make it their new perch. Poor guy it really was funny, even funnier when the girls showed him the picture we took of the seagull sitting on his SCARY spider. He said "Well.....that.... ASSHOLE" to which the girls laughed their butts off.
The DVD player was shit and there was no hot water anywhere except for the downstairs tub, the two bedrooms that was advertised turned out to be one big room with a wall (with no door) in between. So, there went all the kinky sex I had planned:(
There were no batteries in the remote control, the owner said "Well, them last sumbitches musta stole um" and when we told him that the DVD player was shit he came over and worked on it for about an hour and determined that, "Yep, it's shit". He was very nice about it and after he pretty much blamed us for braking it, he gave us his play station to use and it only stopped working in the middle of the movies about five times. I ended up having to get pissy and told the dude that this thing was shit too and I wanted DVD player that worked NOW! To which he jumped and got me one ~ why couldn't he have just done that to freakin' begin with?
The pier was made out of sawhorses, it was sturdy though,the girls got some bread, sat on it, and took turns being attacked by seagulls.....dumb ass youngins.....funny shit.
We tried to make the most of it and we ended up having a good time. Our oldest loved the paddle boat and once the owner taught her how to fix the chain (that fell off about every hour) she had fun with it and only had to swim back to shore three times. He also loaned us an electric scooter that the two youngest loved. They have both asked for one for Christmas. We went to a bear reserve and a wild life reserve, it was cool we got our pictures taken with a baby bear.

We went to a little zoo and the girls got to hold a baby bobcat. We also went to an Elk farm, and a waterfall.

We walked up to watch a local gospel group at the community center, the lawn was filled with lawn chairs and everyone brought there dogs and of coarse their beer, the people even got up and danced a couple of drunken gigs to "you are my sunshine" and "I walk with Jesus".
We had a good time and felt right at home.

We got lots of good pictures of everything. I think that over all, I got enough pictures to keep me painting for awhile.